The Tinder Generation

As a Millennial I would consider our generation "the Tinder generation". We're obsessed with online dating. 

 I like to think of it; the online shopping of dating. Swiping on Tinder is like looking through a clothing rack in a store... "no, no, no, no, hmmm... maybe... I guess (it's a match), no, no, no, no, no... etc." Or maybe this is just the female perspective. Everyone puts their own mental parameters. You can choose age and distance limits but then when you're swiping you create other rules. Maybe this week you're only into blond guys, or guys who are smiling in their first photo. Or someone who has a funny bio. So many minor limitations leaving you with the final result of dissatisfaction.

Its hard to tell most of the time who's on Tinder for dating and who's there for chatting or sex. It could be different for each individual match. Inappropriate photos are always a turn off, even if you are only looking for sex. And the older generations call us the sex generation because we don't fall in love but rather just sleep around but I find that we're a generation that deals in extremes. We either sleep around, and date a lot, or what seems to be a lot, or we're serial monogamists calling ourselves "girlfriend girls" and "boyfriend boys".

Of the people who seem to fall in love the stupid temptation of Tinder and other dating apps pushes people to be unfaithful or to know the second they break up they have 50 rebounds at the ready. Recently many of my friends have ended up in relationships through Tinder, one of my closest friends has been dating her Tinder boyfriend for over a year. This coupling off is really inconsistent though, for every person in a relationship you know, there are 10 who are not. So why is it still so hard to find a date in a big city like London?

Do we just not put ourselves out there? Last night I went clubbing. My friend and I danced we a couple different guys, yet some how we didn't end up with any phone numbers, all these boys seemed to want was a good grope and a kiss if they were lucky. Is Tinder making it harder for us to interact face-to-face? It seems as though its making us more timid. In English culture "liquid courage" (alcohol) seems to be an imperative part of dating, but is that any better than something like Tinder? Is Tinder just a facilitator or is it ruining us for the future, will we stop talking to the people we're interested in completely because we're afraid of rejection?

It's hard to tell. Overall, people find hiding behind a screen easy, its the human conversation that people struggle with. If you're afraid of rejection listen to this podcast (the Fearless episode), it teaches you how to make a game out of getting over your fear. And if you still think you can't date offline watch this short film.

Talk soon.
Diana

I'm always on my Phone

It might be a generation thing, or a London thing, but I am always on my phone. Maybe I'm a bit of an addict getting new apps all the time and deleting the ones I never use, and somehow still always using something. I swear I have to charge my phone at least twice a day and the battery life is really good, I'm just always doing something on it.

This year I made the resolution to take more photos, but that means more time on the phone as well, and if I want to post them to Instagram or other social platforms that's even more time on the phone. But I'm also the worst person at answering the phone. 

I hate hate hate talking on the phone. I associate it with calling my grandparents on the phone when I was a teenager, and it felt like such a chore. So whenever someone calls me, I pick up my phone and stare at it, practically contemplating life or death before I get the courage to answer it. The only time I answer the phone is if I'm waiting for a call from a possible employer or if its a number that is already in my phone. But I still go through that emotional struggle. And all I can think of is "why didn't you text?". 

I have two or three friends that have the tendency to call me, and we end up speaking on the phone for hours, but when I'm on the phone I can't seem to do anything else. Whereas when I text or Facebook message or Whatsapp I have time in between messages to do other things, like eat, watch tv, or even interact with other people.

I feel like my generation is scared of talking on the phone because we're obsessed with multitasking. We don't ever want to be doing only one thing at a time. I see girls catching up on their tv shows while jogging at the gym, or personally, I tend to knit or play games on my phone while I Skype my parents. It's like we can't turn off, we need to occupy our minds with multiple things all the time. I think we all would like to believe we have ADHD but we don't, we're just used to this kind of madness because we've grown to believe we can get more done if we're doing loads of things at once. 

For the next couple of weeks I'm going home to Luxembourg, and I'm hoping to be able to detox from my phone a little and focus on my assignments, but also focus on the face-to-face relationships I have, and hopefully improve them. 

How addicted to your phone are you? 

A Typical Weekend

Valentine's Weekend was huge here in London, couples everywhere, and parties widely available for the single people. 

So of course my single friends and I decided to go to Cat Face on the Saturday night. This time it was held at Metropolis Strip Club, but sadly there were no strippers. After pre-drinking jello shots out of syringes we headed out and got to the club. 

First thing we noticed, it was deserted, second thing, there's no cloakroom. Great, so now we have to party with our coats on? Finally it starts to fill up, and the second and third floor get opened up. And the evening is getting way better, the third floor has a beach! And of course we started dancing on all the stripper poles all over the club. Good times. 

Then the evening gets a little out of hand, with a friend of mine not making the best decision in boys, and the rest of us trying to avoid some of the uglier ones. Finally we all decide to leave and get bagels, because who doesn't want bagels at 1:30am. 

Walking along Brick Lane, to our apartment we're enjoying our bagels, only to get the shock of our lives. Someone in a moving car has egged us. I start freaking out because my whole left side is covered in egg, but it gets worse. My friend Daniella can't see, she was hit in the eye and everything's pitch black for her. 

So we rush home, wash her face, leave the drunk girl home, and get an Uber at 2:09am, to the eye hospital. It takes us ages to fill out forms and have a nurse see us but finally we're getting somewhere. Somehow there are only seven patients but we end up leaving the hospital at 6:30am after arguing with a nurse over prescription medication and Daniella having to look into a god awful bright light 50 or so times. 

The ironic thing was that it was not our first time there, back in 2013, I was hit in the eye with a champagne cork and the same thing happened to me. Not exactly the most ordinary of Saturday nights, but hey, not something new either. Thankfully we're all ok now, even though her eye will take a while to heal. 

All in all, I still spent Valentine's with people who love me. 

Hello Again!

Hi! 

Sorry for my super long, unexpected hiatus, but hey, I'm back and ready to take the world by a storm. 

Firstly, I think the content of the blog will change a bit, just because I don't have the time to see new places very often, but I will be sharing new experiences and explaining the struggles of a 20 (almost 21) year old in London. 

Graduation is this July so hopefully this will be a place where I can share my thoughts and explore my future. I am not running away from my life or my future but I'm hoping to shed some light on what crazy thoughts pass my mind at a point in my life where the decisions are important. 

I just got a new profile on "the dots" so I'm hoping to find a more creative job through that, and maybe I'll go up from there. The sky's the limit after all! 

Much love,

Diana